Sunday, May 22, 2011

Wives and Whores...

Found in the New Internationalist...

"The whore-stigma ensures that the Good Woman and the Bad Girl stick to their separate spheres. For what might happen if it were suddenly OK for housewives and hookers to get together?

A friend of mine, a working prostitute, comments: ‘I think a lot of men are afraid that if their wives cottoned on to how much we make in this business, they wouldn’t put up with the old man anymore. I’ve had clients say as much. It’s the money – women don’t have the money to get out of a boring marriage, or whatever, and these men know it. It’s how they keep ‘em down.’"


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  2. I just found your blog; very inciteful!

    One of worst moments of my life was the moment I discovered how much a grad-student colleague was spending on strippers, while at the same time, he metaphorically raked his wife over the coals for spending $10 (yes, $10) on pants for work even though they were living on HER salary! Yes, he was spending HER money on strippers and at the same time he resented her spending any of her own money on herself.

    This feeling of utter horror was reinforced when I worked for a hotel that was hosting a convention of fire-fighters, all of whom frequented the strip club next door every single night. I'll bet they were tightwads with the wives, too; there is only so far that a fire-fighter's budget will stretch, and a man can't be generous with strippers AND the wife - there just isn't enough money to go around. One of those strippers lived at the hotel, and she drove a pink Cadillac. I wonder how many of those fire-fighters' wives drove Cadillacs?

    That realization completely changed my view of men and their relationship with their wives. Prostitution looks like a much, much better deal than being the wife of 90% of the men out there. Most of the time, prostitution can't be any worse; after all, what is worse: spending 25 minutes with a jerk and being paid very well for it, or having to spend years with him and being treated like a servant or slave the entire time?

    I am married; we are going on 17 years together. My husband has had his bad years (yup, years - years where often I wished I could let slip the surly bonds of Earth). At the moment, he seems to have developed more of an appreciation for me. We'll see how it goes. I'm too old now for prostitution, but I can definitely see the attraction.

  3. Hey there -

    I think I wrote this post months ago - right after a client who had become a regular but never sex client (basically, he needed a therapist) and I got a rude and hysterical email from his wife...who had found out about some of his less savorable behavior.

    What upset me about that is that I'd spent the last 8 months gently scolding him for certain things that I'm sure she subsequently not-so-gently-scolded him about. I was always on her side...and I thought it was unfair for her to take it all out on me!

    No - prostitution is not better than marriage. It is better than marriage for money. Yes, men can be dogs; but I think women allow this, particularly when they are getting everything financially, self-esteem-wise--you have to have other people thinking you're great too!) from one person.

    Same time, I would still pass up very good client-sex and 600 dollars for a best friend, love-sex and a cuddle!